D3 body, D1 cock
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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