If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
