I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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