Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
