We're facebook friends in real life
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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