I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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