just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
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He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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