i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
