Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you will always have a special place in my vag
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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