I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
