Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
