Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
