the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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