so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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