omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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