Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
