the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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