its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
