i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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