R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
