I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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