it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
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I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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