Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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