She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
