I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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