I heard we made out
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
