so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
