I need help removing her.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
