Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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