WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.