Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
