And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize