Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
