I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
