what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize