I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize