"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
