my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
