Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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