i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
