Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
