Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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