Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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