this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
