i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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