capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
