I want to have your abortion
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
