you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
