how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
