these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize