if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
