How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
