Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
