Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
