Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Can vaginas get frostbite?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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