I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
