She's JV to your varsity
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
