it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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