Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize