glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he thought i was a dude.
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i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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